A "friend" of mine (you'll see later why I use this term kinda loosely) had been begging me to go to lunch.
"Well, Wendell's day off is thus-and-such, so that would be a good day for me to go," I remember telling her.
"My girls could babysit," she insisted. "Then we could go anytime."
"True," I replied, "but it would be cheaper for me if Wendell babysat."
"My girls could do it for free."
"Are you sure?"
"Sometimes they owe me something and I could just have them babysit in exchange so they don't have to pay me back."
Three months went by before I could arrange the outing. The Sunday before we were to go I asked if she had any ideas.
"Oh yes," she said confidently, "I want to go to The Grill."
The Grill is a very nice, very expensive restaurant at the ski resort nearest me. It would be a 20-30 minute drive and the last time I went there, 8 years ago, lunch for two cost $80. No kidding.
As it got closer and closer to our lunch date, I got more and more anxious. In the past, she has been very draining on me and I wasn't looking forward to the lunch. The day arrived and, to make matters worse, things fell apart at my house. When E, her daughter and daughter's friend showed up, my children were fighting and screaming. I gave E one look and said, "I can't go to the ski resort."
"No problem," she replied pleasantly. "We'll go somewhere else."
We decided on a place that Wendell doesn't like and I rarely get to go. Fast forward to the end of lunch. (I could mention here how she interrupted me very rudely and killed the conversation or how she wouldn't help me with Beck (8 months) who I'd brought with me, but suffice it to say, by the end of our slow lingering lunch I was ready to head for home and face the screaming masses.)
As we settled the check E asked, "So how are you going to pay the girls?"
What I should have said: "You told me that your girls would do this as a favor for you, so there would be no cost to me."
What I said, "Oh. Um. Well."
E: I ask because I promised to take the girls out for a shake after so it only needs to be a few dollars each."
Me (mind racing): Yeah. I have a few dollars at home. I can do that.
At home I had exactly 3 dollars in bills so I ended up paying the girls in quarters and dimes as well, just whatever I could scrounge out of the coin jar. I severely underpaid them, but it was the best I could do on a moments notice.
I suppose I'm not the only who's had an experience where you thought you would be paying one thing and ended up paying lots more, but it still felt awkward.
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3 comments:
Okay, we need to do lunch sometime--how about PB&J at a park, with kids in tow?!
Ah, I remember Miss E. She is... Ballsy. I think you ought to have jogged her memory in a dumbish sort of way: "oh my goodness, I completely misunderstood you! When you said that the girls would do it, I assumed that meant NO COST to me. Well, I'm so sorry, but I'm on a tight budget and all I can afford is $2. Next time,maybe we can do it according to my schedule and then I'll just have Wendell babysit!"
Actually, I lied. I would have done the same thing. Maybe even gone in the red to save face.
That has happened to me. The most recent was last Christmas when my family opted to have a CHristmas Eve dinner... catered by a chinese restaurant (for approximately 15 adults and eight grandkids). We were supposed to all pitch in, but as it turned out, I was designator pick-up person and when the meal ended, only one brother offered to give me a fraction of the cost. I declined because I knew he had paid some significant money for another dish from another restaurant, and I knew that my fam could "afford" the financial hit better than him. So, I had lots of leftovers... the thing that Teed me off was that everyone wanted to help themselves to the leftovers, but I meanly packed it in early and left.
I didn't have the heart to tell Dh about it until much later. He was ticked off at first, but softened quickly because 'that's just the way they are'.
Wow, reading this experience is upsetting to me! Some friend, throwing the jogging her brain that you had suggested having lunch on Wendell could babysit might have embarrassed her, although I don't know her so maybe not!
At least it wasn't an eighty dollar lunch as it could have been. :)
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